Deciding to Jump: From 9-5 Job to Publishing and Podcasting

The following is a transcript (edited) that I recorded on FaceBook live in 2021, I believe, about the time I was leaving my home health job to write a book, which I truly believe the Lord has called me to do. That calling is in “morph-mode,” and now the calling is also about publicly speaking to help women find the ability to forgive abusers in their past. The message in this particular video was about risking it, or just stepping out in faith, jumping, if you will. Here’s the gist of what I shared. Remember, we were smack dab in the middle of the COVID crisis when I recorded this.

We live in a place where we are constantly bombarded with reasons to be afraid. Dear friends have passed from COVID or from other diseases. I know a lot of people who are dealing with depression. We hear daily of events in or world that are just plain frightening. And it would be really easy to crawl in a hole and just hide away.

At my age, (56 years old at the time, although I didn’t feel that old and still don’t) I am still working on finding God's calling in my life. And maybe you're in the same boat. Maybe you're working in a job where you feel like your gifts are not being used, or maybe you are not in the ministry that you feel you ought to be in. Maybe you feel like God's really been burdening you to pray for certain things and you're just not sure what you're supposed to do about this situation or that situation.

Maybe you've had one door after another close. That doesn't mean there aren't other doors. And it certainly doesn't mean that there aren't other doors that you should go through.

I’m embarrassed to admit this. But I found a video of me from a couple of years ago and I basically was saying the same thing back then that I'm saying now…that it's time to take a risk. I was about to take a risk. And I thought, well, this is really daring of me. I don’t even remember for sure what I was getting ready to “risk,” but I know I backpedaled and went back to the same old thing I had done before. It’s terrible to have a calling or a passion for something, decide you’re gonna “just do it,” and then fall back into same old fear-filled patterns.

I have done that same old thing time and time again. You know…I kind of just jumped a little. I didn't really jump wholeheartedly. It's like having the parachute and being at the door of the plane and you're ready to jump and all you do is stick your foot out the door. You don't really jump. You just stick your foot out the door, and then you go back to the safety of sitting on the plane.

I don't want to go backwards again. I want to keep pressing forward. And I've said this dozens of times to my kids. Regardless of what happens today, with your situation today, you have to keep moving forward. The alternative…just going back to someplace that wasn't working or something that wasn't working…that option can't be open. You must press forward. And if doors close, they close. But new and different doors can open.

So I'm getting ready to jump into something that I've never done before, and I tell people it's because I haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up yet. I'm going to jump and I am going to do it without fear. I don't think what I'm feeling is fear. I think it's more like excited about these new and different things. By now I’ve told several people that I really felt like God was calling me to do this. And they had said, “How do you know that it's God that's calling you to do it?”

And my response really boils down to this:

If God's calling me to do it, there's nothing that could stop it from being successful. And if God's not calling me to do it and doesn't want me doing it, there's nothing and no one that could force open the door that He desires to keep closed. If I believe that, and I do, then what do we have to fear? Because whether that door opens or not, if I'm trusting him to walk through it, how can I NOT decide to go ahead…and jump?

So that's what I'm trying to encourage you to do, as well. You just walk through. if you're trying to push open doors, and they're not opening. There's probably not anything you can do to force them open.

You know, I love ya!