An Act of Faith Worth Two Extra Dollars

Today we're going to talk a little bit about that verse.
You know the one—the one in Hebrews chapter 11—that very first verse, right? The one that says that genuine faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of of things not seen.

Have you ever looked at that word, conviction?
I'm not talking about the kind of conviction relating to someone who's been charged with a crime then been found guilty. Not that kind of conviction. This particular word, "conviction," means "firmly believing." Be honest with yourself. Can you say with complete honesty that you have a "super faith," and therefore you are always firmly believing?

I think you and I both can agree that is probably not the case, right? And it's okay. But I'm going to tell you a story that shares my own personal steps (notice the verb) of faith and how God showed up to reveal Himself.

When I was about 26-years-old, we adopted our first child. Finally, after several years of going through infertility treatments and terrible disappointments (more fodder for more books to come—He's in our stories, right?) we were going to be new parents.

He was precious—just precious. Five pounds and three ounces of curly dark hair and big beautiful eyes. I'd never seen such an adorable baby. And we fell madly in love with not just him, but with being parents.

I was working for a major bank at the time as a senior customer service representative. And my boss worked out a way for me to come back to work after maternity leave as a part-time employee, afternoons, noon to five. What a blessing that was. I went back to work after several week of maternity leave. We couldn't afford for me to stay home with our little bundle.

Every day I took my tiny little blessing to a friend's house so I could work five hours a day. And I would bawl like a baby all the way to work...every...single...day. I went from loving my customer service job and all my bank friends to absolutely hating every single moment I was in the office, or in the car going to the office, or waking up and getting ready for the office.

It just sucked!
Sorry...but it did! 

Every day I'd say to myself, "You've got some nerve, Mom! You prayed and prayed and prayed for God to give you a baby and now you let someone else raise him everyday."  Now, I'm not trying to work shame anyone else. I'm just expressing how I felt back then. Was it misplaced guilt? Maybe. But the feeling were real and the tears fell, just the same.

After two or three months, and many prayers, my husband and I decided that we would act in faith and I would give notice at work. That meant losing my part-time income of just over $1,100 a month—$1,104 to be exact. We were going to be over a thousand dollars short every month—even after we sat down and figured out what we could cut from our expenses. Could we live with one car? Could we stop drinking soda pop? We were already eating at home most of the time. But after doig the math we thought, "Well, God's just gonna have to work it out."

We weren't being flippant either.
We just trusted God to figure it out.

So I went in on a Friday and because I was a senior customer service representative, I gave my boss a full 30 days notice to replace me. It meant I was going to probably have to train someone. And that was going to be after they spent some time finding someone.

The following Sunday at church, we let everybody know what I had done. You could have heard a pin drop had it not been for the multiple gasps that covered the silence. See...even though we all talk a great game about having faith, we don't like to act on it. We don't want to put God in that situation. We don't want to put God in the situation where he's going to have to prove to us that our faith has feet on it.

My own family was terrified we'd made a huge mistake. And even some of our lovely faith-filled friends at church tried to convince us that we'd misunderstood what the Bible means regarding a walk of faith. My husband and I just rested—we knew He'd show up and say, "Well done."

Sunday came and went. And then Monday morning came.

Now, I usually didn't go to work until noon. And my husband went to work early in the morning. He was working for an aeronautics plant. He went to work. About 7:30 in the morning heard the obnoxious ring of our landline. It was 1992, after all—no cell phones and no Pharrel Williams, Happy ringtone to awaken to. I was just barely waking up with the baby. I'm assuming it's bad news, right—too early for good news.

I answered the phone. I was surprised to hear my husband's voice crackling a bit on the other end—was he crying?

"What's wrong?" I quickly chirped. 

"You're not going to believe this. You are not going to believe this! he practically shouted. 

"WHAT?" I practically shouted back.

He commenced to tell me about his friend, Ann, from work. She had spoken to him well over a year earlier about the possibility of selling her little "side gig" janitorial service. It only had three or four weekly commercial accounts, but she was looking to retire. But today—of all days—he tells me, "Ann approached me at work this morning as soon as I got here and asked me to take over her little part-time cleaning business— starting TODAY!" 

Now, Ann had been making a little money on the side with that business for years. And today—she's ready to unload it. Hmmm?

Guess how much income that little side-gig was making?
Go ahead.

Was it the $1,104 I needed to make ends me? Nope. It was $1,106.

God gave us two extra dollars!

Now, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm not. This is my story. This is my faith journey. But I am telling you that within a few short days, our act of faith was met with God showing up! 

Not much has changed, really.
Today I made a deposit of a facility for a women's retreat that coming up and I really don't know if enough attendees with come and participate, allowing me to actually afford to pay for the event location.

But...I've been down this road before. I paid the deposit...and now I wait.

Am I afraid He won't come through? Nope! Does it look good on the balance sheet? Nuh-uh.

But faith—the real deal—can not be physically seen. You will not see an answer to your step or your act of faith until after you take it. Otherwise, it's not really faith at all now, is it?

How did I show God my gratitude?
After I hung up the phone with my husband that day, I just remember being so incredibly grateful that I was speechless. Ever read Jude 1:20? It refers to our "holy faith" and "praying in the Spirit." I realized when I fell to my knees in gratitude and was simply without words, all I could offer the Lord was this overwhelming emotional wailing—I suppose I was praying in the Spirit. And I've never experienced anything quite like it again. It was like I was experience God in the most real way humanly possible, and I couldn't explain it while I was living the moment.

Is God asking you to take your own step of faith? Is he asking you to just trust him?

You can trust him.

Whether it's for 1100 bucks and he gives you an extra two or something else, you can trust him. Now, I'm not a licensed psychologist. I'm not a licensed medical doctor. I'm not a licensed anything. I'm just a crazy old Christian drama queen with a lot of baggage and a lot of stories to tell. But I want you to understand who this God really is—this God that saved you and loves you and wants to nurture and cherish you—wants to show you that you are deserving of a loving Father—wants to heal you and break those bonds of bitterness—you can trust him.

And you know, I love you.